THE
getting you drunk since 1975
The Woodcutter
WOODCUTTER
- WE PUT THE "GLEE" IN LANGLEE
The Woodcutter was recently voted Langlee's top pub in a poll of people who drink in the Woodcutter.
Since 1975 "The Woody" as it is affectionately known, has been serving the needs of the people of Langlee with its friendly, welcoming atmosphere, reasonably priced drinks and bar snacks and its range of state of the art mod-cons.
The Woodcutter not only boasts hot and cold running water and flushing toilets, but three years ago was dragged kicking and screaming into the new millennium by installing a brand new "colour" television! And as if that isn't luxury enough, the punters don't have to even get up out of their seats should they want to change channels - because the television came equipped with a "remote control"!
Whether holidaying in Langlee, visiting friends or simply passing through to get to somewhere else - The Woodcutter will welcome you with open arms!
Remember - a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet!
So why not pop into The Woodcutter, it's not just a pub -
it's a way of life!
THE WOODCUTTER OF THE FUTURE !!
READ LANGLEE WINDOW CLEANER'S AMAZING PREDICTIONS FOR THE WOODCUTTER OF 2112!
CLICK HERE TO BE TRANSPORTED TO SHAUN FARRELL'S INCREDIBLE WORLD OF TOMORROW
INCAPACITY BENEFIT CLAIMANTS FACING POVERTY
LANGLEE BATTERED BY HURRICANE!!!
KENNY WILSON "BLACK AFFRONTED" AS SECRET SEX ROMPS UNCOVERED
"THE GALA DAY IS BORING" CLAIMS LANGLEE MAN
DoctorTam-medicine man...
Discusses PRE-MENSTRUAL TENSION
MEIKLEM: WHY I HATE WHAM - AND GEORGE MICHAEL IN PARTICULAR
TAM FARRELL'S FURY AT EGYPT PROTESTERS
LANGLEE COUPLE TELL HOW WINNING WOODCUTTER TOTE DOUBLE ALMOST COST THEM THE ULTIMATE PRICE - THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER.
GIANT OCTOPUS AND TERRORISTS RULED OUT IN GALA BINGO DISASTER AS WOODCUTTER REGULARS LEFT "REALLY SCARED"
PLANET HOLLYWOODCUTTER
WHY SOME OF THE WORLD'S BIGGEST STARS COULD SOON BE DRINKING IN LANGLEE'S FAVOURITE PUB
WOMEN WITH PRE-MENSTRUAL TENSION TO BE BARRED FROM WOODCUTTER
AS WOODCUTTER BARMAID LYNSEY PREPARES TO GO TO AMERICA, WE ASK...
TAM FARRELL WEEPS AS CAT IS FOUND DEAD
OSCAR - WAS IT SUICIDE?
We've all done it when we're drunk - set fire to a friend, wondered what a dog would look like without hair, see if goldfish could fly. But why? Why do we do these things? Well now you can find out! Click below to see our special scientific feature...
BRUCE NOBLE'S MOUSTACHE STOLEN!
LOUISE NOBLE:MY LIFE AS A WAG
EXCLUSIVE!!!
CAMPAIGNERS WIN BATTLE TO HAVE EILDON HILLS MOVED TO LANGLEE
MAN SPIKES OWN DRINK THEN HAS SEX WITH HIMSELF
ECKY DOULL SPOTS PANTHER IN LANGLEE WOODS
NIKKI WHIGHAM CHEATING WITH MAN OLD ENOUGH TO BE DEAD
NON-HUMAN REACHES TOP TEN REGULARS CHART
THE REAL REASON KEV DENHOLM LEFT GALA
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD!
IDIOT FAKES OWN DEATH TO AVOID PAYING TAB
EVER WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF THERE WAS A FIGHT IN THE WOODCUTTER? WELL STOP WONDERING! BECAUSE WITH OUR IMAGINARY FIGHTS THERE CAN BE A SCRAP EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK!
SIMPLY CLICK ON THE FIGHTS BELOW AND READ A BLOW BY BLOW ACCOUNT OF THE BEST IMAGINARY FIGHTS IN THE WOODCUTTER!
THE INCREDIBLE HULK
EDDIE V
WALTER
OUT OF
THE SUNBEAMS !
TAM FARRELL CAUGHT IN BED WITH LEEK
LANGLEE MAN "FED UP"
*The word reverend should in no way be used to imply that Black Alec is an actual reverend. Or goes to church.
JAMESIE'S SHAME
TWEEDY'S HIT AND RUN HELL
BRUCE NOBLE, OWEN DOOGAN AND YULEY
IT'S THE IMAGINARY FIGHT EVERY ROCK FAN WANTS TO SEE!
V
JAMESIE "THE GROWLER" FOWLER
V
JESUS CHRIST
LANGLEE MAN ON VERGE OF CREATING NUCLEAR FUSION
BLACK ALEC TO ADOPT CHILD
ANGIE FARRELL - NEW CONSERVATORY HAS TURNED MY HUSBAND INTO A TWAT
DOT AND KURT - COULD THE DREAM BE OVER?
WOMAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER OVERDOSE OF GOSSIP
ZOMBIE FEARS AS LANGLEE SAYS - WE'LL HAVE THE CREMATORIUM
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO HAVE YOUR VERY OWN DRUNKEN OLD MAN? YOU HAVE? WELL YOUR LUCK'S IN. BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO ADOPT A WOODCUTTER REGULAR!! EVERY NOW AND AGAIN WE WILL POST A WOODY REGULAR ALONG WITH HIS PROFILE, AND IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE YOU CAN BID FOR HIM AND TAKE HIM HOME THE VERY SAME DAY!! CLICK BELOW TO SEE THEIR PROFILES
ENGLISH JOHN IN PROTEST AGAINST SOMETHING THAT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN
TOMMY COOPER AND OTHER CELEBRITIES LIKE THAT SNUB CHRISTMAS LIGHTS SWITCH ON
AULD BRIAN ABDUCTED BY SPACE MONKEYS
THUGS GIVE BLACK ALEC FORCED MAKE OVER
ARNIE - MY BATTLE WITH ANOREXIA
WHY DID I FEED PIZZA TO MY CAT ?
LANGLEE - SCOTLAND'S HIDDEN GEM
CUBBS TURNBULL BEGS MEDIA TO LAY OFF
UPROAR AS WOODCUTTER LIFTS BAN ON UGLY PEOPLE
MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING WHILE MAKING LOVE UP A TREE
TAM LEITCH SPENDS A DAY AS A WOMAN - READ HIS AMAZING ADVENTURE HERE
LANGLEE SUPERHERO "FED UP WITH IT ALL"
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